Clean Blonde Jokes
They say there is a hotel in New York City that sucks you up if you tell it a
lie but grants you a wish if you tell the truth.
A brunnette walks up to the mirror and says” I think I am the smartest
person in the world” and gets sucked up.
A redhead walks up to the mirror and says “I think i am the sexiest person
in the world” and gets sucked up.
A blonde walks up and all she can say before she gets sucked up is “I
think…”
Tags: humour, blonde jokes, timewaster, amazing, funread, comedy, joke
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A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York.
The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde, who’s tired and just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window. But the lawyer persists and says the game is easy and fun. He explains, “I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me $5, and vice versa.”
Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, “Okay, if you don’t know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don’t know the answer, I will pay you $500.”
This catches the blonde’s attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.
The lawyer asks the first question: “What’s the distance from the earth to the moon?”
The blonde doesn’t say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5 bill and hands it to the lawyer.
“Your turn,” says the lawyer.
She asks, “What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?”
The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Net and the Library of Congress. No answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mail to all his friends and coworkers-to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500.
The blonde says, “Thank you,” and turns back to get some more sleep.
The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, “Well, what’s the answer?”
Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, and hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.
And you thought blondes were dumb.
Tags: humor, amazing, timewaster, bored, funread, fun, interesting
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She thought a quarterback was a refund.
She managed to trip over my cordless phone.
On the bottom of the job application where it said ‘Sign Here’ she wrote ‘Aquarias’.
She sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
She told me to meet her on the corner of “Walk” and “Don’t Walk”.
She tried to place a bag of M&M’s in alphabetical order.
She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
She took a ruler to bed so she could see how long she slept.
When she got an AM radio, it took her 10 month to figure out she could use it at night.
She spent 25 minutes staring at the Orange juice box cos it said - “concentrate”
She got stabbed in a Shoot out.
She used to sit on the tv so she could watch the couch.
Tags: entertainment, fun, bored, humour, blonde jokes, comedy, blonde
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A blonde walks up to a Coke machine in a Las Vegas casino, puts in a few coins, and out pops a Coke. She puts some more coins into the machine, and another can of soda pops out. She keeps putting in coins, and cans of soda keep coming out.
A guy walks up behind her and says, “Can I please use the machine?”
“Buzz off!” she says. “Can’t you see I’m winning?”
Tags: amazing, cool, entertainment, bored, interesting, blonde, best
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On a plane bound for New York the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting in the first class section and requested she move to economy since she didn’t have a first class ticket.
The blonde replied, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to New York and I’m not moving.”
Not wanting to argue with a customer the flight attendant asked the co-pilot to speak to her. He went to talk with the woman asking her to please move out of the first class section.
Again, the blonde replied, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to New York and I’m not moving.
The co-pilot returned to the cockpit and asked the captain what he should do. The captain said, “I’ m married to a blonde, and I know how to handle this.”
He went to the first class section and whispered in the blonde’s ear. She immediately jumped up and ran to the economy section mumbling to herself, “Why didn’t anyone just say so?”
Surprised, the flight attendant and the co-pilot asked the captain what he said to her. The captain replied: “I told her the first class section wasn’t going to New York.”
Tags: cool, humor, fun, bored, silly, funread, jokes
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