Ultimate Blonde Jokes
A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no
lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse
immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic
pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs
for the horse’s mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to
throw her arms around the horse’s neck, but she slides down the side of
the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly ignorant of its
slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to
leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her
foot becomes entangled in the stirrup, and she is now at the mercy of the
horse’s pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and
over. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away
from unconsciousness when to her great fortune, Bobby, the Wal-Mart
greeter, sees her and unplugs the horse.
Tags: amazing, timewaster, funny, joke, comedy, haha, silly
Comments off
A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In the first room she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out "GREEN SIDE UP!” In the second room she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!” The lady was somewhat curious but she said nothing. In the third room she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked over to the window, opened it and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!” The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling ‘green side up’?” The contractor replied, "I’m sorry, but I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street.
Tags: blonde, humour, blonde jokes, timewaster, joke, awesome, cool
Comments off
There was a blonde woman who was having financial troubles so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note: I have kidnapped your child. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the big oak tree in the park tomorrow at 7 A.M. Signed, The Blonde. She pinned the note inside the little boy’s jacket and told him to go straight home. The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10,000 in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just as she had instructed. Inside the bag was the following note, “Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do this to another!”
Tags: blonde, humour, amazing, entertainment, fun, bored, haha
Comments off
A blonde goes to the local restaurant, buys a small drink for herself, and sits down to drink it. She notices a peel-off prize sticker on the side of her cup while she is drinking. After pulling off the tab, she begins screaming, “I won a motor home! I won a motor home!”
The waitress runs over and argues, “That’s impossible. The biggest prize given away was a stero system!”
The blonde replies, “No. I won a motor home!”
By this time, the manager makes his way over to the table, and he too argues, “You couldn’t possibly have won a motor home because we didn’t have that as one of our prizes.”
Again the blonde says, “There is no mistake! I won a motor home!”
The blonde hands the prize ticket to the manager and he reads, “WIN A BAGEL.”
Tags: silly, interesting, blonde jokes, timewaster, cool, laugh, joke
Comments off
Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb. One of them decides to call 911:
Blonde: We need help. We’re three blondes changing a light bulb.
Operator: Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb?
Blonde: Yes.
Operator: The power in the house in on?
Blonde: Of course.
Operator: And the switch is on?
Blonde: Yes, yes.
Operator: And the bulb still won’t light up?
Blonde: No, it’s working fine.
Operator: Then what’s the problem?
Blonde: We got dizzy spinning the ladder around, and we all fell and hurt ourselves.
Tags: interesting, blonde, humor, silly, comedy, funread, bored
Comments off
« Previous entries ·
