Blonde Jokes

Stranded on an Island

wpman — Mon, 05 May 2008 08:00:06 +0000

There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced, “I’m going to try to swim to shore.” So she swam out five miles, and got really tired. She swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.

The second one, the redhead, said to herself, “I wonder if she made it. I guess it’s better to try to get to the mainland than stay here and starve.” So she attempts to swim out. The redhead had a lot more endurance than the brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before she even got tired. After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.

So the blonde thought to herself, “I wonder if they made it! I think I’d better try to make it, too.” So she swam out 5 miles, ten miles, fifteen miles, and finally nineteen miles from the island. The shore was just in sight, but she said, “I’m too tired to go on!” So she swam back.

Tags: timewaster, humor, jokes, funread, haha, entertainment, best

A Flaky Blonde

wpman — Sun, 04 May 2008 09:45:06 +0000

One day, a blonde named Sally was putting together a puzzle. She was really stumped and very frustrated, so she decided to ask her husband for help. ‘’It’s supposed to be a tiger!'’ Sally cried. ‘’Honey,” said Dan, “Put the Frosted Flakes back in the box!'’

Tags: entertainment, comedy, humour, fun, best, timewaster, humor

Do you see the dead bird?

wpman — Sat, 03 May 2008 12:30:08 +0000

A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park one morning.

Suddenly, the brunette notices a dead bird. “Awww, look at the dead birdie,” she says sadly.

The blonde stops, looks up into the sky, and says, “Where? Where?”

Tags: awesome, silly, fun, humor, laugh, entertainment, amazing

New York Mirror

wpman — Fri, 02 May 2008 13:45:06 +0000

They say there is a hotel in New York City that sucks you up if you tell it a
lie but grants you a wish if you tell the truth.
A brunnette walks up to the mirror and says” I think I am the smartest
person in the world” and gets sucked up.
A redhead walks up to the mirror and says “I think i am the sexiest person
in the world” and gets sucked up.
A blonde walks up and all she can say before she gets sucked up is “I
think…”

Tags: funread, humour, timewaster, joke, amazing, blonde jokes, comedy

Air Plane Came Down

wpman — Thu, 01 May 2008 14:45:05 +0000

There were 11 people holding onto a rope that came down from a plane. Ten were blonde, and one was a brunette. They all decided that one person should get off because if they didn’t then the rope would break and everyone would die. No one could decide who should go, so finally the brunette said, “I’ll get off.” After a really touching speech from the brunette saying she would get off, all of the blondes started clapping

Tags: funny, interesting, joke, bored, blonde, fun, comedy

Breathe In Breathe Out

wpman — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 18:00:08 +0000

There was a blonde that went to the hair salon with headphones. Before the barber started cutting her hair she told him “Make sure not to knock the headphones off my head”. So the barber was sure not to. The next time, the blonde said the same thing “Do not knock the headphones off my head”. The barber again, did what he was told. The third time she went, she told the barber again “Don’t knock the headphones off my head”, this time though, the barber accidentally knocked them off. As soon as the headphones fell off, the blonde dropped to the floor unconcious. The barber picked up the headphones and listened, and this is what it said “Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out….”

Tags: best, laugh, humour, funread, entertainment, funny, silly

Blonde - death in the family

wpman — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 19:00:13 +0000

One day, a blonde’s neighbor goes over to her house, sees the blonde crying, and asks her what happened. The blonde said that her mother had passed away. The neighbor made her some coffee and calmed her down a little and then left. The next day the neighbor went back over to the house and found the blonde crying again. She asked her why she was crying this time.

‘’I just got off of the phone with my sister, her mother died too!'’

Tags: blonde, awesome, humour, funny, laugh, bored, funread

The Alligator Shoes

wpman — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 23:00:15 +0000

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated with the “no haggle” attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, “Maybe I’ll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!” The shopkeeper said, “By all means, be my guest. Maybe you’ll luck out and catch yourself a big one!” Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.

Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, when he spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he saw a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She took aim, killed the creature, and with a great deal of effort hauled it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watched in amazement. Just then the blonde flipped the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, “Damn it, this one isn’t wearing any shoes either!”

Tags: amazing, awesome, cool, silly, bored, comedy, best

Blonde and Horse

wpman — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 01:15:06 +0000

A pretty blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse, unassisted, and the horse immediately springs into motion.

It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle.

In terror, she grabs for the horse’s mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse’s neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider.

Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup, and she is now at the mercy of the horse’s pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over.

As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune…

Bill, the Wal-Mart greeter, sees her and unplugs the horse.

Tags: entertainment, haha, comedy, awesome, blonde, blonde jokes, bored

Blonde Cell Phone

wpman — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 06:00:05 +0000

A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decides to buy her a cell phone. She is all excited - she loves her phone. He shows her and explains to her all the features on the phone.

The next day the blonde goes shopping. Her phone rings and it’s her husband.

“Hi Hon,” he says. “How do you like your new phone?”

She replies, “I just love it. It’s so small and your voice is clear as a bell. There’s one thing I don’t understand though.”

“What’s that, baby?” asks the husband.

“How did you know I was at Wal-Mart?”

Tags: fun, bored, humor, silly, timewaster, interesting, comedy